Hi, I’m Mary. Mom of two, 3, and 5. I am a childhood trauma survivor myself, my son and I experienced severe trauma in 2020, and my daughter experienced trauma this past year. You could say that between my life and my kids, I’ve become somewhat of an amateur trauma expert. $10,000 in trauma therapy and fighting every day to save your child(ren) will do that. There’s something about the fact that I’ve been told by 7 credentialed professionals (Doctors & LCSWs) in the last year that I deserve mom of the year for my knowledge and ability to understand what is going on with my child(ren). I’ve even been told, “I don’t know Mary, you know way more than I do on this; you are the expert tell me how I can help you.” Does that make me an expert? Maybe? Maybe not? Does that mean that I may have something to share that could possibly help another mother, or another father, going through this with their child(ren)? Yes. That is exactly why I am here.
In 1992, I saw my mother fall off the toilet and hit the floor along with a spaghetti pot she was holding. The scene, the sounds, the emotions, everything, traumatized me (unbeknownst to me) for 30 years of my life.
In 2020, our family dog snapped and charged my 2 1/2-year-old son from across the yard, pinned him down, and viciously attacked him – he was trying to kill him. I tackled the dog and ripped him off my son. From my view, I thought he had my son by the neck, I thought my son was dead.
In 2022, at the age of 2 1/2, my daughter was physically abused by a childcare provider. Because of my experience over the previous two years, saving my son and I, I picked up quickly on her behavior being a trauma response and before I knew what had happened, I already had her with our trauma therapist. Wait, is that weird? Doesn’t every family have their own go-to trauma therapist? No?!
Along the way, out of desperation, of out searching for a miracle, I have read everything I can get my hands on in an attempt to save my son. Because of that dedication, I now have a new level of intuition, a new ability to absorb the situation and get to the root of the distress so that it can be externalized and processed. I had gained so much usable skill through the two years of darkness my son and I endured, to be able to save my daughter from hers in 3 months (of hell).
So, not only have I lived my entire life stuck in a trauma state, but I have also now successfully led two children through the trauma tunnel of darkness and into the light. I don’t know if that makes me an expert but it absolutely gives me a breadth of knowledge that I can now use to try and help YOU help your child (or yourself). The truth of it is, no parent should have to work as hard as I did to be able to save their child. The truth is – children experience trauma all the time and the way it displays is as “bad behavior,” leaving parents clueless, helpless, desperate, and dying to figure out “what happened to my child.”
That’s why I’m here. To help you. To help you see what is going on. To help you learn. To help you find a way to get to the bottom of the issue. To provide you resources. Most of all, to provide you validation and support as you navigate a truly horrible experience.
This is hard. It’s isolating. It’s heartbreaking. You are not alone, I am here.
parentingPTSD 