If I had the chance to pass only the most important piece of information to you that I believe could be ‘the thing’ that helps you most with your child and PTSD it is that there is a high likelihood that your child blames themselves for whatever the horrible thing was that has traumatized them.
Crazy? Yes, it’s completely crazy. But I have seen it over, and over, and over again. I myself uncovered at 37 years old that I blamed myself for my mother having her stroke when I was 7, me, a helpless child, spent 30 years being guilty that I didn’t save her. My son, who was viciously attacked by a dog, blamed himself for not protecting ME! and I was not the one in danger. My daughter, blames herself for being hit by a childcare provider who we entrusted to keep her safe. She was also threatened to not tell us and yes, she thought it was her fault, she thought she had done something wrong.
The thing with trauma is that it’s not the WHAT that happens to your child but it is HOW the what is interpreted by YOUR CHILD’S body. So something seemingly small could actually have traumatized your child to some degree. My friend’s son started having behavioral “issues” aka communication and started getting upset about going to swim class after years of no issues. Because of sharing my story with her, she was able to uncover that he didn’t like the fill-in instructor who kept him underwater too long and he took in water – he was traumatized by the experience. It was disrupting his behavior, his sleep, and his mood, because he no longer felt safe in his world.
Just trust me on this one, if your child has had something happen to them that as traumatized them to any degree, they’re more than likely blaming themselves.
It’s not their fault. They didn’t do anything wrong. They didn’t deserve this. They are not bad. It’s not their fault. You are not mad.
parentingPTSD 